Faith and Betrayal
Lazerous' Diary Page - "Blind Tesseract"
The following is written on fine paper with steady penmanship but with hesitant strokes, as if the writer had not written for some time prior.
Scintilla, 12:00 hours
3 Days following Mara Incursion
Forgive me, but it has been quite some time since I wrote one of these. I feel compelled to put my thoughts down on paper and this method had worked for me in the past… so here I go…
It’s been days since we returned from that hellhole Mara, and the events still plauge my thoughts. Even with an inquisitor as powerful as Herrod and my fellow acolytes by my side, I know now I was not ready for the horrors that I faced.
The twisted warp, those mechanical beings, the death of my closest friend… even in a way my own… But I should begin at the start…
Upon landing on Mara I began recieving flashes, insight into the past, the present, and the future. All times entwined at once into strands of images playing out in my mind. I could see us, but at the same time they were images not of us. As we went deeper into the complex the images transcribed themselves around me, as if pulled directly from my mind and cast upon the walls like shadows. We would turn a corner and I would see us coming around the same corner from the other side as if we were two sides of the same coin coming together.
But like a coin, no two sides are identical. My visions, this ‘imposter’ us, they are wrong. In my mind I see a woman, an old Psyker hag… I see her standing exactly where Herrod stood with us. I heard her barking orders to Red, as if she were in charge. As if she were leading us… them… I see us celebrating our victory on Mara with Sand, as if we were there on his orders. I did not know what to make of this at the time, and I must admit I still do not. Were these visions a dream? An ill omen directed at Herrod? As more and more visions of this woman appeared I felt an urge to protect him from her, and I still do not understand why.
Down we went, ever deeper into the fray. Further and further into the bowels of Mara looking for that dreaded machine, until finally… after what seemed like months, we found it, the Blind Tesseract. Sitting at the bottom of the well like a lost key, primed and waiting to turn the lock and open the door.
The Iron Daughter spoke and told us what needed to be done. Without a thought to the contrary I saw Herrod place the keystone in her waiting hands and the door behind us open. Like a two way mirror looking into hell it shimmered with delight, beckoning us into it’s waiting jaws.
As we stepped through the portal, how could any of us have known how ill prepared we were. We witnessed past, present, and future colliding together, meshing into one long path we were forced to follow. We saw what could be, and what has happened. I watched as Harlock’s wife and child were murdered in front of me. I can now understand his need to bring them back, for I feel the same way about my own family. But I have to wonder if the events that may unfold are worth it…
The destruction Harlock brings to the sector is great, and these mechanical beings have already shown us how powerful they are. They ripped off Herrod’s arm and immobilized mine. I watched as Red cut down half a dozen of them only to have them step back up to face him again. Never before have I heard Herrod order us to retreat from an enemy.
But all of it, everything I witnessed in the mirrors, all of the things I saw in Mara’s catacombs, all of my damn visions that haunted the deepest recesses of my mind… all of it paled in comparison to that final door.
I stepped through it and found myself face to face with my own visions. I stared into the face of my fellow companions looking towards me with equal surprise. I saw my own eyes staring at me and I knew… I knew that he was thinking exactly as I was thinking…
Like all shadows dancing on the wall, they must one day disperse into blinding light. I must admit I am somewhat concerned over how little I hesitated once the battle started. I pulled the trigger on many of my friends without a single second thought. I watched as my bullet ripped through Red’s skull and his body fell into a lump on the floor. I put similar bullets through the heads of Quint and Lysandros before my comrades cut them down.
And in the end, I even put a bullet between my own eyes. The blasted vision that had been following me, haunting me from the start, stood mere paces from me, blood pouring down his face, and I saw the madness in his eyes. Madness and desperation filled his face and through them I saw the power of the warp rip through his body and suck him into the black void, consume him body and mind… Perhaps all of it was simply a warning… A warning that my power shall consume me if I ever let it…
After that, seeing Harlock return seemed like a minor concern. I know Herrod is upset that we didn’t have time to detain him, but I know that the way things work we will find ourselves parleying with him again soon enough.
For now I must rest and recover from my wounds. I have much to do and as crazy as it sounds… I feel like I owe that other me… Owe him for his sacrifice… Learn from him… Never forget…
Perhaps I will continue this again sometime. My mind does seem more at ease… Or perhaps not, it is such childish behavior.
Inquisition Theomancer in service to Inquisitor Gramen Sand